I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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