High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
