I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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