i don't like sucking hair
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
