Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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