is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
