Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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