Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
