you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
