i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
