Sry I called you an 8
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
