my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
