It's Friday. Sex?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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