She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
