Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
MIDGETS
????
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Randomize
