please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
We named our party play list daddy issues
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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