I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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