you would pick up someone in the library
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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