you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Randomize
