yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
