Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
