She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
