I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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