I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
