hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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