Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
