fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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