Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
