found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
