You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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