there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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