He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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