i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
