so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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