I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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