How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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