You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
