I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
