So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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