My brain says no but my pants say off.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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