Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize
