Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
