how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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