you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
