I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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