She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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