she smelled like a LAN party
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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