Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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