Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
