you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
