I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
