Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
